Yesterday I went on a nice trip to Nairobi with Theresa and Katie the Peace Corps volunteers for me to get a new Phone and for them to have a day out and do some shopping in a supermarket. I’d done my 8km run in the morning and had tired legs all day. When I finally got to bed around 9pm I was ready to drop. But I’d sent a few text messages with my new Reconditioned Nokioa 3310 before turning in and replies trickled in. I was glad of the messages and by about 11.45 when one arrived I decided that, since I was still awake, I’d go to the loo and then try and get some sleep.
**Scene I** The toilet in a little house in Kenya
Mark (sitting on the loo with his Dr Seuss boxer shorts round his ankles) spies a snake curled up next to a can of insect repellant, about 9″ from his foot.
Since the snake is dorment, Mark finishes his business and fetches his camera. Then wanders off roun the house to look for a stick because last time he had a snake in the house the locals scolded him for not killing it and told him that the best way to do so was to hit it with a stick, and then RUN AWAY, because some snakes can jump.
Mark returns with an iron bar used to secure the door to his house. He stands on the other side of the toilet basin from the snake and places the nib of the bar on the snakes neck, like they do in cowboy films.
Snake: wakes up and starts thrashing its body round the iron bar; opening and closing its mouth in silent anger.
Mark: now puzzled, wonders what to do next as the snake clearly isn’t dead.
Snake: doesn’t die
Mark: pushes hard on the bar
Snake: wrythes a lot and opens and closes its mouth without saying anything
Mark: rocks the bar back and forward trying to sever the bloody snakes head as he feels it would be a bad idea to let the snake go now that it is awake, angry and shouting silent curses at him while trying to strangle the iron bar with its body.
After a great deal of rocking and dragging the head of the snake is mostly removed from most of the rest of the snake and the remainder of the snake is soiling the bathroom floor.
Snake: stops opening and closing mouth but continues to wiggle body and tail in an unplesant way.
Exit Mark (to kitchen)
Enter Mark (from kitchen) with brush and dustpan and a tough plastic bag
Mark sweeps the non-liquid remains of the snake into the bag and pours some Jik bleach on the liquid parts, then goes and sits on his bed for a while waiting for his pulse to return to normal.
**End of Scene I**